Wednesday, December 3, 2008

Wednesday

I'm going to try to keep this blog updated better. Now that most of my family is on the mend life can go on. I have a few thoughts that I want to share today....

First, I just feel like a bad mom lately. I'm so busy comparing myself to all the great moms in my family & in my ward that I don't feel like I measure up to them. Oh yes, you will all say "Robyn, you are a SUPER mom" but I don't feel like that. There is one child in particular who I am struggling with. I guess you can say that the challenge started when she turned 2 years old. She is a very headstrong child, whom I adore, but at the same time I struggle because I don't know what to do. She has really started to back talk lately and no matter how many privileges I take away or how much discipline she gets she really doesn't care. She even says she doesn't care. I feel like we are trying to do the right things in our family, we have daily scripture study, daily prayer, weekly Family Home Evening. We do fun things with the kids, we teach them values, discipline, respect. I guess there is just this part of me that knows that I can only lead a horse to water but not force it. I know that all things will work out in the end, it is just the enduring part that is hard for me.

On another note about being a good mom. I wish I was a calmer person. I just have this energy inside me that pops out! When I am happy, sad, or mad I let everyone know. Wouldn't it be nice if I were just calm most of the time and didn't freak out for every little thing? I am grateful that Heavenly Father made me the way that I am but I struggle a lot because I know I am a lot to handle. I expect a lot from people/family so I am often disappointed. I should just lower my expectations, I know this, but that is hard for me and my "personality". I am going to try some essential oils from my SIL to see if they help me a bit. I just need to relax.



While I am saying everything that is on my mind can I just bring up bedtime & wake up time? They are both so hard for me and my kids. I know some of you will say, just get them on a routine. Can I tell you that I have tried that and that my kids are just HARD at night and the mornings. I hear so often others comparing my children to theirs making me seem like I do not know what I am doing. I truly believe that each child is different and if you have easy children that might just be a blessing for you and your family. I am not saying I do not have good kids because I was blessed with the BEST kids ever and I love them so much.

Okay, I feel much better. Thanks for letting me get that off my chest.

4 comments:

okbushmans said...

I think we all worry about our kids, whether they are too shy or too outgoing, too independent and stubborn or too easily controlled and push-overs. As far as talking back, Brenna is doing that, I have tried a variety of things. Right now, I am completely ignoring her if she is acting like that. If she wants something or wants to talk to me, I will pay attention when she is being respectful and not throwing a fit. So far, it is working ok. Of course she throws a bigger fit, then finally calms down and acts like a normal child! Who knows. You always have to try new things

Julie said...

{{{{{{{{{{{{Robyn}}}}}}}}}}}}

We all worry about our kids and they will all go through stages that are more difficuly or easy for us to identify with them, and to understand how to help them, and keep ourselves from going crazy! :)

It is difficult when you feel like one child "ruins" the fun of the whole family at times. Rich has been a great example to me lately of not getting frustrated with the kids. When he see's that I'm at my breaking point- he'll tell the kids to stop the offending behavior or he'll tickle them so much they pee their pants! lol! That's a real threat for most of my kids, so they calm down and the subject usually turns to giggles...
Talking back- I know I'm a lot laid back than you are, but I've found if I ignore it, and tell them that they can't talk to me like that- they may not immediately stop, but they learn the rule and they know that they hurt my feelings when they do that, and they aren't going to get anything they are pleading for when they act like that.

You are a good mom and I am soooooo glad that you are my friend! Don't compare yourself to other moms... we all have our own parenting styles and as each child needs different parenting techniques- each parent has to develop their own way of dealing with their kids. :)

davies-jennie said...

Robyn,
I am the worst with rotine and getting my children to bed. My in-laws often comment on how my kids are night owls. We often have family fight night...not FHE. I think it is just keep going and keep trying. That is what I have to tell myself daily. I have my bad days a lot and react poorly too. I think we are in a family so we can learn and grow together and repent and forgive together. Lots of love. Jennie P.S. I think you are amazing.

Heather said...

I don't have any girls to speak of, but after 11 years of teaching at many ages, I've seen enough. I just want to remind you of how you were as a girl- remember how awful we were to our mothers? I know you think your child will never act as you did, but they are human just as you were. So, try to keep that in mind. It's a phase, and someday she will be struggling with this exact same problem with her own daughter. : )